We left our RV at the campground in the morning and drove out to see the Oregon coast for the first time. It was a beautiful sunny day. We spent some time throwing a ball on the beach for our dog then drove north and explored more of the magnificent rocky coastline… a beautiful day.
Then the texts started coming in from our neighbors, one after the other:
“You’re not going to believe this…”
“Um, are you sitting down?”
“Hey you guys! Guess what?”
“OMG! THEY TORE DOWN YOUR HOUSE!”
You know that expression “You can’t go home again”? Well it is literally true for us. The people who bought our house a few months ago had just torn it down!
Those texts from our old Los Angeles neighbors came with photos – and each one hit us like a punch in the gut:
Going…
Going…
Gone!
We loved that house. Yes, when we sold it we said our goodbyes. It’s completely out of our control what happened to it after we left. Of course. We get that. Totally.
But the emotional punch of seeing your home of 25 years demolished is real too. We have a long history there… Cynthia planted every plant and tree on the property. We got married there. Our son grew up there. When we decided to sell we each went through a period of mourning. On the actual night we moved out we took a moment (even though we were exhausted) to say goodbye and expressed our gratitude for the years it had given us.
Of course we knew when we sold our house for an adventurous new live romping around the country in an RV that we would never live there again. We knew the new owners would make changes. We thought we would come back one day to see if they added another bedroom, or added a pool, or converted the garage into a guest house. But we always thought it would still be there in one form or another.
The house I grew up in is still standing. The house my grandparents lived in is still standing. And my wife can drive by and point at the homes she lived in her whole life. But the house my son grew up in is gone.
It’s an LA thing. Old gets torn down for new. Small gets replaced by big. I don’t know what they are going to build there, but the “mega mansion” is a common sight around the San Fernando Valley. It can make you angry. When it was your house it can REALLY make you angry. Even when it’s not personal, simply the trend of erasing history and bits of the past is unfortunate.
Objectively that house had flaws, but it also had character. It was built in the 1930’s and had little architectural details that we had maintained and highlighted. The brick walkway was hand laid by an Irish craftsman, the cove plaster ceilings in the bedrooms were charming, the white picket fence was adorable, and the wisteria climbing across the front porch was a blessing every year… But that’s all gone now.
For a moment I regretted the months of painting and remodeling we did last year to prepare it for sale. But now, as then, I remember those improvements were marketing tools. We might not have gotten as much as we did if the house wasn’t freshened up. (Thought I totally regret buying that pricier kitchen faucet – obviously it wasn’t a major selling point.)
So we took a deep breath to let this second wave of grief, created by those photos, passed over us. Admittedly we spent a few days of muttering to each other “I can’t believe they tore down our house.” But now we are now able to look up and say – ALL IS WELL!
ALL IS WELL!
We are on an adventure together. We are someplace beautiful and have many more beautiful places ahead of us. We have our memories and photos of our old house when we want to look back. But now, today and every day after, we are creating new memories and exploring toward a new, wonderful future.
RIP old house. You served us well.
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I enjoyed reading about your history at your lovely home for 25 years. You’ll always have your memories and your thoughts from your writing. Letting go is the hardest task before change can happen. I loved your house too. Thanks for sharing your photos, memories and history…….
I love your writing. It’s fun to follow you on your trip. Alex is becoming a young man and Peaches loves him so.
Yep, Alex and Peaches are quite the team! And thanks for sending a photo of our house demo… included it in this post. It was quite a shock.